KevinTest
A leader should be slow to punish and swift to reward.
Ovid.
This quote strikes a chord with me, because as I look forward to my eldest daughter’s Jr. High years and her becoming a pre-teen, I struggle with how to punish and reward her. Fortunately for me a stern word and a harsh look has typically been all the punishment she has ever needed. However she no longer responds to “Will you do that for a Popsicle?” I honestly have never been one for corporal punishment, not that my kids didn’t ever deserve it, but because I am considerable larger than them, and was a little scared I could hurt them. Lucky for me, my tone of voice has always instilled a little fear in them and it has worked…..until recently.
It seems as though my daughters have realized I am all talk, and that they have me wrapped around their fingers. So as I struggle with how to reward and punish them, I thought I would try to get ideas from others on lessons learned from rewards and punishments.
My first thoughts on the subject are from when I was a child, back when corporal punishment was not only accepted but used efficiently in my house. Then there was the period in my life when I got bigger than my parents and they figured out, making my car not work or cutting of the money tree worked better anyway. Then there was the military career when it was typically embarrassment or the fear of letting your “Team” down that drove me not to require punishment. Eventually you build a corporate career and find that money and success are the reward and unemployment is the punishment.
So how would Christ have addressed this topic with his “Team”? Yes, the 12 Disciples were a team. Stay tuned later in the week for that discussion.
- How can I be more Christ-like when dolling out rewards and punishments?
- Should the punishments be different for different people on the team?
- Should initial expectations determine the punishment and the reward?
- Should my 11 year old be rewarded and punished differently than my 9 year old?
I realize this is not one of my longer or more profound articles but it is something I am currently struggling with and I would like to see some discussion.
Photo credit: oxyrhynchos – OLOliuqui / Foter / CC BY-NC
I am not sure if this answers your question. But, we found as parents the most effective punishment was when it fit the “crime”. For instance, one of our children was once very loud, rude and disrespectful to their mom in the foyer of the church. It drew a lot of attention to the incident. The punishment was that the apology had to be as loud and as noticeable as the disrespect. In other words, you can’t make a scene and then just whisper “I’m sorry, Mom.” Our child remembers that incident to this very day.
But the bottom line is that what works for one child may have little effect on another.
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