KevinTest
Let’s keep this simple. In our busy world, we can get trapped with rushing children to this event and then to the next. It can be exhausting. It can be costly and it can consume a once healthy marriage. You can easily find yourself living for the kids.
One technique we like to utilize in our house is the word, No. Say no to extra things in the schedule. As leader of the house, men, we need to help prioritize the schedule. I would like to share the following advise I received as a young married husband to you. I don’t know if this is in some Gary Smalley book or Marriage enrichment book…I don’t have time to read that drivel. All I know is that what I’m about to share with you works.
Ready? Here it is:
Dialogue daily. Date Weekly. Depart Monthly.
Dialogue daily. Men initiate a daily conversation with your spouse. Call her if you’re running late. Text her. Message her. Just talk to her. Don’t lose the original dialogue you had when you pursued her.
Date weekly. Court your wife. Find a sitter and take her out. Make excuses to get alone with your spouse. Go to a movie. Dinner. Most likely your spouse is a sure thing. But plan a night out. You do all the planning. It can be as easy as a quick jaunt to Starbucks. Just do it. Go back to those days when you were dating and as soon as you left her presence…you couldn’t wait to see her again. Also, double date. Encourage another couple to join you. There are some strained marriages needing a breather as well.
Depart Monthly. Get out of Dodge once a month. Not a huge vacation. Make a day trip to Llano for barbecue as a day trip. Go to Galveston. Just get away for awhile.
The benefits are amazing. Your offspring see the most healthy relationship between the two of you. Boys and Girls see a Father in love with their Mother. It’s good stuff. Once again…have fun with it. Say no to Baseball practice or Scout Meeting, or ballet….and yes to dinner with the Spouse.
And by the way…spare me the comments on Gary Smalley. It is a preference. Get off this blog and talk to your spouse.
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My wife and I have been doing this for years. But it wasn’t always easy or very affordable when the children were young. I think that those of us who have raised our children and now are empty nest-ers would do well to volunteer to babysit for a young couple from time to time so that they could go out on a “date night” from time to time without having the added expense of babysitting.
Can I get an “Amen” from some of you out there whose kids are grown?
As a young mom, I can second that Kevin. I have friends who beg to watch our son so we can head out on a date. It is such a privilege to share him with someone who really enjoys his company and wants to spend time with him. It makes the time spent with my husband even sweeter because we know our son is not only looked after but being enjoyed for who he is.
Rene, I completely agree. As “the spouse,” thank you for this article!
Men, I would challenge you to share this with your wives. I am certainly not going to point fingers, but I bet there are wives that are just as guilty of not making quality time as the men. So I say wives, when we ask for a date, please be open to doing something we might enjoy as well. I can say from experience that if everytime we want to go on a date, and you make us sit through The Notebook, we may start asking less and less. Im not saying go to the latest “Shoot’em Up” movie, but how about a boat or car show, how about an evening walking hand in hand thru Bass Pro Shops? I’ll bet you could find something in there you would want!!
Billy you are on to something…that is true ACCOUNTABILITY. Share the link with your spouse. It will raise some eyebrows.
Yes. This does work both ways. And we as men give up trying to make it work when our partner fails to join in. Men are simple creatures we understand the definition of insanity. MEN don’t repeat the same thing expecting a different result. If the movies are constantly Twilight or Sex in the City. REPENT…but it is no wonder the dating dried up. It does take some give and take.
My wife gently reminds me to court her. She will stand by the car door waiting for me to open it for her. Or she will pause by the entrance of a restaurant waiting for me to open it for her. (Guess what…my boys do it for her.)
Today, I want to go see Superman. But she endured Fast and Furious with me last week…so today we are going to go shopping for eyeglasses. She wants my opinion.
It is very important to her and I love her and I don’t want her too desirable to other men…so I’m going to help her pick out the most “GRANNY” glasses you can find.
It is so important to nurture the second most important relationship you have.
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