The Best Articles from Kevin Bowser

Fatherhood Friday

They Need You

FF - 20130705 - 1Every man that I know who is a father wants to be a great father. He wants to be a terrific role model whom his children respect and admire.He wants to succeed at what his gut and instinct tells him that it is a tough job.

And the research in this area is very clear: Your children are calling out to you, begging for your attention. The problem is that the call is often disguised as misbehavior or the inability to listen to you or obey you when you speak to them.  The statistics depict the following narrative: When children do not have involved fathers, they do not do as well in school, they are more likely to turn to drugs or alcohol, and be involved with premarital pregnancy. They are more likely to grow to be adults who live in poverty, and they are more likely to turn to crime. And they are almost certain to repeat the cycle with their own children some day.

On the other hand, children thrive when they have an involved father — a full-time father who loves them unconditionally, knows them intimately, treats them with dignity, guides them with clarity, and loves their mother passionately.

When a father’s presence isn’t as strong as it should be, children have lower self-esteem. Their grades suffer. They develop unhealthy views about male-female relationships. (Remember that I just said how important it is for you to love their mother fully and without reserve.)

Unfortunately, today’s culture does not provide dads with practical advice they need—at least not nearly at the level of guidance available to mothers. That is part of what Fatherhood Friday is all about. I have some ideas about the coming weeks and I am lining up a series of things that our children need from us. I hope that you will stay tuned for the series. I am not sure how long it will take to write it all out. But, I do plan to make it practical and meaningful.

I hope to get some more active dialog during this series. We currently have almost 1,000 readers per month here at LeadershipVoices. Most of those are men just like you. Some are single. Some are married. Some are fathers. Some are grandfathers. So, I am asking you to be brave in the coming days and reach out through your comments and create with me a dialog among the fathers and the sons who will someday be fathers themselves.

Are you brave enough for that?

 

Photo credit: docpop / Foter / CC BY-NC
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Photo credit: olinlibref / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

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5 Comments

  1. I reflected on this posting The last few days & focused Extra on my wife. Let me explain, I tried my best to treat her the way I expect my son to treat his wife, & how I expect my daughter to expect her husband to treat her. It wasn’t an easy task, but after reading this article, I was holding myself accountable. (Plus I wanted to compliment Kevin on his article Sunday ) I’m excited & look forward to reading Fatherhood Fridays!

    1. Thanks, Scott. I am grateful for your kind words and I am really excited that some of the things that we are writing are resonating with our audience. And I look forward to the upcoming Fridays as well. Stay tuned!

  2. I have an interesting opinion on this as I have children and grandchildren that are not all that far apart, well 7 1/2 years but let me explain. I find myself treating them differently, because of there age obviously but additionally because I have different responsibilities to each. As I sit here pondering this thought it occurs to me that maybe I have a chance to teach both a different lesson, based on how I respond to the other? When i show love and care to one, surely the other would see it, and when I reprimand the other firmly but fairly, and do not hold a grudge, will the other learn about respect and behavior as well? Maybe what I am saying is our job as fathers dont get easier when someone adds Grand to the beginning? I would love to see some more thoughts on this topic, and Kevin thanks for finally turning on the spell checker in the comment section.

    1. All I can say is that I hope my kids learned both “experientially” and “observationally”. Which, I think, is at the crux of what you are saying.

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